Darth Days – Signs you may be a Muddbunnie

  1. You have lube in your purse. No, not that kind the bike kind.
  2. You have no less than a tool, lube, pump and spare in your backpack at all times.
  3. Ya, you’ll go for a hike but can it be on Seymour because you though you saw a bike trail just off….
  4. When you see someone stopped anywhere you feel compelled to ask them if they need help.
  5. You have made changes to your bike to take weight off it, yet don’t mind carrying heavy beer with you for the after ride.
  6. You not only attend trail days, you bring goodies or volunteer to help with lunch.
  7. You have been down no less than three secret trails, of which you speak to no one except your best and closest riding buddies.
  8. When you get caught on a secret trail you smile, batt your eyelashes and politley ask…”Is this the CBC?”
  9. You have used the word “severed” and “dick” in conversation with men and they didn’t cry.
  10. Taking a day off of biking to volunteer for events is almost as much fun as riding and involves more beer.
  11. The only thing you will ever braid is your hair.
  12. You are comfortable in cars that stink like sweat and chain grease but get grossed out public transit.
  13. Dorothy has gotten you over an obstacle you never though you would do.
  14. Your place of work has spare clothing and loam around the areas you inhabit.
  15. You have been planning this summer since last summer and most of your weekends are full before March.
  16. You decided that the $500.00/week all inclusive Mexican beach vacation was too expensive but ponied up $500.00 for a long weekend at Whistler.
  17. Riding is more than just spending time on the bike. Its therapy through rough times, educating yourself about the areas history and the people responsible for the trails and a good reason to have a beer on a work night.
  18. You always get invited to stuff because everyone knows you will bring a warren of hot mountain bike women.
  19. You have at least one area of your car dedicated to bike gear. This usually has an air freshener around it too.
  20. Meeting complete strangers who posted a ride on a forum in a place you don’t know seems like a great idea and tones of fun.
  21. You can’t understand why people would ask you to leave your bike outside.
  22. Wade Simmons served you lunch at a trailday. .
  23. You excel at rock bitching, cedar humping and banging rungs.
  24. There is a section of the world famous North Shore that you had a hand in building.
  25. You have piled rocks on the trails where a sign has politely asked you to pile rocks.
  26. You desperately try to think of ways of keeping the non biking family and friends entertained while you hit up bike parks.
  27. You consistently blow the bike budget by April.
  28. The first day you brought home your new bike you sat on it every five minutes and marveled at its awsomeness. Then you called another bunnie and you talked about for an hour. Both of you were totally stoked!
  29. Ya, you know that log, the one with the rock and root by it.
  30. You forget your keys, wallet, and jacket but have your helmet, gloves and camelback.
  31. Only after a really bad injury did you consider getting pregnant.
  32. You have fallen asleep on your bike. And were comfortable.
  33. You volunteer at the N.Shore Gear Swap so you can be the first to get your hands on the best deals.
  34. Been there, fell of that. Now your taking others bunnies to fall off it.
  35. When you have the flu and have spent the morning puking your guts out you are more worried about how to replenish your electrolytes for the next ride than how long you need to recover.
  36. You found out about engagements, break ups, bra sales and how to get grease out of clothes on Pipeline.
  37. You have non biking family and friends but only see them on special occasions. However you know 50+ people you can call at a moments notice to go for a ride at any time and spend 3-5 days a week with them.
  38. You know where the “Boyko Cut”,and the “Femur Gap” are and why they are called that.
  39. You know that there is so much more to Whistler than the bike park.
  40. You are drop dead sexy in full body armour and a full face helmet, covered in mud and sweat. You have a swagger like a winning bullfighter and a strong desire for a pint and could care less about the filthy state you are in.
  41. Your legs look like the cat shaved them.
  42. If you were injured on the trail, you limp/crawl/bumble your way through work and point it out to people when you tell them how it happened. If a shopping cart bumps into your ankle you need to take the day the day off, that scrape could get infected and affect your ride later.

2 thoughts on “Darth Days – Signs you may be a Muddbunnie

  1. Darth, you crack me up!!! What an awesome write up – you should do a copyright on it! My fave’s (although there are many) No. 36, No. 30 & No. 8!!! You rock!

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